Dad's Playing Mum

As the founder of Musical Minis, pre-school children’s music classes and as a Child Psychologist I have found that music classes can be valuable for any parent finding it hard to bond or communicate with their child.

There was an article by Mark Hudson in the Daily Mail where Mark says he fears he has stunted his daughter’s development because he was unable to ‘baby babble’ with her, encouraged too much rough and tumble and failed to fit in with others at a children’s music class.

Mark Hudson indicates that a number of his problems are linked to him being a stay at home Dad e.g. loneliness, exhaustion, frustration. However, a number of women also experience these problems. It is isolating to be stuck at home with a baby who can’t talk to you, with no adult company, and numerous child caring and home duties to perform. It is really easy to put this down to being a male in a female role but so many women have these feelings too.

Whether male or female, giving up a job where you have constant interaction with adults to being at home with a young child requires some adjusting to. It is common sense to realise that you have to talk to babies to enable them to learn to speak. However silly you may feel talking to someone who does not appear to respond, you have to rise above that and look for ways to see that your child is responding. Eye contact with babies is very important, the child responds by looking back at you. If you talk to a baby and they react by moving their arms and legs, that is a response, as is smiling back at you. Babies respond non verbally and the more they are spoken to the more they respond, therefore language and communication skills are encouraged.

Dads can be brilliant carers and educators to their children, just as good as Mums; however they have to enjoy what they are doing. If they resent the fact that they are stuck at home with a child they won’t be creating a productive environment for the child to develop in. The same is true if a Mum feels this way

Some baby and toddler classes can be very intimidating for anyone, whether male or female who aren’t part of the clique. It is harder for men to be accepted into what is still considered a woman’s role i.e. child rearing. As franchisor of Musical Minis, my aim over the past 24 years has been to improve learning and development outcomes for children through the use of music, movement, instruments and stories. Musical Minis encourages parental participation, and social interaction which builds up children’s self-esteem and confidence. It is often assumed that parents should instinctively know how to interact with their child but often these parenting skills need to be taught.

At Musical Minis we create a relaxed atmosphere where anyone and everyone is welcome. We encourage children and their carers from every faith, religion, background, culture and gender to mix together. Furthermore, all ages and abilities are facilitated in a single group. A number of Musical Minis groups have Dads and Grandpas who come along with children and all are made to feel welcome and part of the group. We often receive comments as to how they have had difficulty with other groups and classes but report that they don’t experience this at Musical Minis.

We truly believe that regular participation at Musical Minis sessions has a positive impact upon the carer and their ability to relate to their children. Adult co-operation is encouraged within the Musical Minis programme. It is needed in helping the child understand, for example, when an instrument needs to be played. This and other interaction encourages the carer and child to work together establishing a platform for good parenting skills. At the session new mothers or fathers can join in the fun, bonding with their babies. The child development aims of the programme, which includes language development, are also explained to attending carers so they will be able to continue them when they get home

Musical Minis runs classes across the UK every week. Check out the list of locations here. If there isn’t a group in your area why not think about becoming a Musical Minis franchisee and starting your own group?

Photo by Flickr The Bridge Family