Breast Cancer - The Challenges Faced By A Young Mum

Guest post from Claire Rowland, our West Yorkshire Musical Minis franchisee.

Firstly I would just like to thank Karen for approaching me to write this piece for the blog.

It all started on December 18th 2010, I was in the Irish Centre Leeds for our annual ladies Christmas doo having such a fabulous night with family and friends singing, dancing and drinking until the early hours of the morning. Also discussing the new West Yorkshire Musical Minis franchise that I had just purchased at the beginning of the month and practicing “I jump out of bed” ready for my launch class in January, causing great hysterics. It’s not often “us mummies” get a night out, so like many others I was making the most of it.

The following morning I woke up a little worse for wear and jumped in the shower, and did my monthly breast check. This is something I did and still do every month whilst in the shower, well it only takes 5 minutes and it can save my life I always thought. I do this as my Nanna died at a very young age of breast cancer and I suppose I just always had it in my mind to do so. I came across a hard pea sized lump which I had never felt before and thought this is strange, I will definitely have to go to the doctors tomorrow and have this checked. I let my partner have a feel as well, and he reassured me saying it will be nothing to worry about, but better to be safe than sorry. That night I went to bed and cried myself to sleep, deep down I knew something wasn’t right.

As soon as I woke the next morning, I called the doctors and got an appointment for that same day; off I trundled to the doctors with my partner and my soon to be 1 year old daughter to have the lump checked. I discussed my family history and leaving nothing to chance the doctor referred me to the imaging suite at Leeds General Infirmary, and said they would be in touch with an appointment.

I decided to take my mind off of it by going Christmas shopping into town with my sisters, and that same afternoon I received a call from the hospital to book me in for the an ultra sound on the 29th December, I thought that is quick but would rather know sooner than later. I decided to put it to the back of my mind until then and enjoy Christmas with family and friends, plus it was my daughters First Christmas and I wanted it to be special.

The 29th December arrived before I knew it, I just kept trying to tell myself I am young and it is so unlikely that I have cancer. I remember vividly sat in the waiting area with all the other ladies nervously waiting for the ultra sound, all side glancing at each other and I am not ageist but I was by far the youngest lady in the waiting area and I felt like everyone was looking at me. After about half an hour my name was called. I went in and was asked to strip down to the waist and climb onto the bed. The nurse was lovely and made general chit chat and did what she needed to do. I remember her asking me to stay where I was, as she was going to get a senior nurse to come and take another look. I had those horrible butterflies in my stomach, not the nice exciting ones the sickly ones. The senior nurse came in and continued to probe (in a nice way) at the lump, I just lay there staring at the screen not knowing what they were looking at, and not much was being said, just measurements of the lump been taken this way and that on the screen. I was then asked to take a seat in the waiting room, as they wanted to show the ultra sound results to a doctor. I went out and sat with my partner, while most other ladies were going in to a room, coming out and leaving with a relieved look on their face, I was sat their waiting for what seemed like an eternity. I was then told that the doctor would like me to have a mammogram, and off I went into another room. It wasn’t the most comfortable thing I have ever had to do in my life but it needed to be done, and women are strong we are built to give birth to children so a mammogram is nothing. I was then asked to sit in the waiting area again whilst the doctor had a look at the results from the mammogram. It all seemed so surreal that this was happening at my age. I was then taken to see a lovely doctor who advised me that they would like to carry out one further test which was a biopsy so they were to stick a needle into the lump and extract cells so they could send for further testing, and they would like to do this today. By this point inside I am freaking out, but trying to remain as calm as possible on the outside. Again I lie on the table waiting for the needle to be stuck into the lump I just expected it to pop and it be all over and done with, that wasn’t the case. I was in the room with 2 other nurses but I have never felt so alone. After the biopsy I was allocated a breast care nurse and given and appointment for the 7th January 2011 to come back for results. This was a full 9 days of waiting, but I had my daughters 1st birthday party to sort out on the 31st December and a New Year to bring albeit with these impending results looming.

On the 7th January 2011 at aged 32, I was dealt the devastating news that I had a triple negative, grade 3 breast cancer. My world came tumbling down around me, all I could think is what if I don’t survive this, what if it has spread elsewhere, my daughter has just turned 1 I am not going to be around to see my beautiful daughter grow, and of course I was going to lose all my hair. I was given an operating date of the 25th January 2011 to remove the cancer and a lymph node biopsy to see whether cancer had spread to my lymph nodes, and they would know fully what they were dealing with, but because of my age and me being a strong young woman I would more than likely be having chemo. A lot more was discussed at this point but if I am being honest it is very much a blur and cannot remember what was said, I have asked my partner and neither can he.

I went into complete self pity mode and all I could think of is why me, what I have done wrong to deserve this, I breastfed I thought breast feeding prevented cancer. I just felt completely cheated in every way possible. On top of all that, I had just bought the Musical Minis Franchise which I wanted to start at the beginning of the year. Just what was I going to do? This didn’t last for long, self pity helps no-one, positive thinking is what is needed. I knew that with the support of my family and friends I could fight this dreaded disease and be around to see my daughter grow.

My Mum and Sisters then decided it was time to have a party in true Irish fashion, to celebrate my new hair doo, and a pre op party. I had what you would call long hair, and I decided to cut it short in stages, bearing in mind I had, had the same hair doo since school. I visited my hair dresser of 10 years and we both had a little cry when the long locks were reduced to a short bob. That night we had a girl’s night out and in just 3 days short planning 50 of my girly friends, family, sisters and Mum filled a little Karaoke room in town, sang and danced the night away. Then joined by the men in our lives we continued to party, I have such loving and fond memories of that night.

On the 25th January 2011, I had the operation which was a complete success, all cancer removed with a complete clearance area, 4 lymph nodes removed and not one affected with cancer. Finally some good news the best we could have hoped for. I was now all ready to start my aftercare, the bit I had been dreading the most chemotherapy and radiotherapy. Still I kept thinking if the cancer has been removed and the lymph nodes are clear why, have chemo and radio. Its precautionary I was told, we are going to throw everything at it to make sure there is a greater success rate of the cancer not returning, and me living a long and healthy life. Seemed extreme to me as a precautionary measure, but whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. This soon became my motto over the next 6 months.

Feeling the most positive I had done in weeks I now decided that I could plan the future, I was going to survive that was now a certainty in my mind. I decided to recover from the operation and start Musical Minis; I channelled all my energy and thoughts into starting the franchise. I was to launch my very first class on Monday 28th February 2011, with my 2nd class on Friday the 4th March. I have never felt so happy. Even with the looming thought of chemo starting soon I knew it was the right thing to do. So with all the planning in full force I was then hit with the news that my first chemo session would be on the Thursday 3rd of March, yes that’s right, the same week I launched Musical Minis.

What a week that was, everyone who came along to the classes signed up for the term, and I had my very first chemo.

If that wasn’t enough I was about to have my second dose of chemo when I was listening to Radio Aire our local radio station, it was running a competition for a couple to win a 30k wedding. 30 couples in Leeds were to be chosen to raise as much money as possible in 1 week for the charity cash for kids. The couple that raised the most cash won a 30k dream wedding to take place on the same day as the Royal Wedding. I thought that sounds interesting so I decided to apply. Why not, it was another little project to keep my mind off of things, that’s of course if I was chosen.

I was sat in the comfortable leather chair in the chemo room with my nurse administering the chemo, when I got the call from the Radio Aire asking whether I would take part, and there would be an open day for all 30 couples to attend at the station on Sunday giving the details. I just could not believe it and neither could my partner. We attended the open morning and I remember walking around the room looking at all the suppliers taking part, and what they were offering to the winning couple thinking if only, but then it dawned on me; 29th April this year is when I would get married if we won. I would have had 3 chemo’s by then what would I look like, would I have hair, these pictures would be for the rest of my life. I started to doubt whether I should have entered. Every woman wants to look their best on their wedding day, would that be even possible for me.

Any way to cut a very long story short, after amazing support from family, friends, even people that we did not know we raised £15, 176k in just one week and won the wedding of our dreams. We bag packed, held a fund raiser, held a raffle, carried out bucket collections, waxing’s, bun sales, dress down days, coffee & bacon sandwich morning, tug of war the list is endless. It was the most tiring, but rewarding week of my life, it could not have been achieved without an amazing team of people and you know who you are. That was it; I then had 3 weeks to plan a wedding and my 3rd dose of chemo to fit in. I had to find a dress, fit bridesmaids, flowers, church, cars, venue, food, decor, photography, entertainment I am sure there where many other things but you get the picture.

The emotional day we won our dream wedding


On the 29th April 2011 after 3 sessions of chemo and 3 weeks of crazy organising I married my partner of 10 years, and had the most amazing day of my life ( I also kept my own hair albeit thinning but my hairdresser was amazing ) and I looked beautiful even if I do say so myself.

Our wedding day (no air brushing, but plenty of Million Hair!)

Musical Minis was going well, my 3 sessions of chemo were making me a little tired, but I was taking so many pain killers, meds anti sickness tablets I rattled when I walked but I was able to carry on as normal I didn’t want it to stop me.

Then came round 4 of chemo, a change of drug and with that came a change of after symptoms. I was knocked for six. I just remember thinking thank heavens I married before this round of chemo otherwise I would not have been able to walk down the aisle.

I won’t go into all the gory details but it wasn’t pleasant, and I spent many a night in my “feel sorry for myself hoodie” laid in bed. I made a conscious effort never to be this way in public or in front of my daughter, but at times, inside I just wanted to curl up and sleep until it was over. I am proud to say that I only missed one Musical Minis session because I was in hospital with an infection. Thank you to my lovely sister for stepping in and taking the class for me, they all said you did a good job.

After my 6 rounds of chemo, I could no longer hang onto what little hair I had. I was sporting a not so nice rab c nesbitt comb over and 2 lovely balding patches at the back, since the first chemo I was just malting slowly and It was time to shave it off. I had completed my chemo and was ready to start radio with a fresh head so to speak. So my husband very bravely shaved my head and I actually felt better, no more itching, no more malting like a Labrador in the summer heat it was invigorating.

Musical Minis, the show must go on!

I was ready for 3 weeks of radio and for all the treatment to come to an end, and to start rebuilding my life.

It is now 14 months since the treatment finished, and I can happily say that there is no current sign of cancer, and I hope for this long to continue.

So just as a final little statement I would like to say, thank you for taking the time to read my story, remember it is so important to check your breasts, no matter how young or old you are on a regular basis, and be breast aware, you know best. It is better to be safe than sorry. Women are strong creatures and even faced with a life threatening disease we can still; carry on as normal, start a new business, look after a toddler, run a house, raise stacks of cash for charity, plan a wedding, fight and survive cancer. Below I have included a few little pic’s just to take you through my year of fighting and surviving cancer, starting a business and getting married.

Exactly One Year on after finding the lump ready for the annual ladies Christmas party!


Race for Life 2012

Early detection is the key to surviving cancer. My mission is to educate and create awareness about breast cancer in younger women.

I hope to challenge women to perform monthly self breast exams and talk to your doctor about any changes to your breasts. Force your doctor to take your concerns seriously. Not every cancer can be detected through self breast exams, but many can. Make an investment in your own health. Do a self breast exam today especially if you are not regularly getting screening.

Comments

[Claire]

What an inspirational young woman!

[Karen sherr]

Thank you for sharing this with us Claire. I'm sure it must have been traumatic for you to write. I agree totally with Claire's comment above you are inspirational.

[Vicki Fletcher]

An emotional read, I was diagnosed myself in May this year with a 7 month old, a 3 year old and a 6 year old. I had my last chemo treatment last week and have surgery booked for next month. It's so lovely to read about another young mum who has come out the other side and is so positive about the future! Thank you x

[paula]

Thank you for sharing your story,im going to regulary check myself now. I wish you the best of health for the future. x

[Helen Rowland]

Amazing big sister....so proud and honoured to have a sister like you...xxxxxxx

[Tam Johnson]

A very interesting, informative and moving story, you are a brave and strong woman, thank you for sharing your experience, I am going to start checking myself regularly x

[Claire]

Thank you very much for the lovely comments. Vicki Fletcher you are a brave lady, keep strong. xx

[Jackie Power]

HI Claire, this made me cry and smile at the same time, you truly are inspirational, gorgeous inside and out and I hope you have lots of happy happy years ahead of you xx

[linda mullen]

claire you are an inspiration. hope you have a happy happy life now! you deserve it hun. xx

[Jo]

Well done Claire. A truely amazing story. One of my special Musical Minis Mums is currently undergoing treatment. She is doing brilliantly and like you - is keeping going and keeping things as normal as possible for her young family.

[Joy]

What an inspiration you are Claire! Thankyou for sharing your story with us all and I too will be checking myself more regularly from now on. I wish you every success with your mission. xxx

[Julie Perrottet]

An emotional read Claire, im currently being treated at 32 with 3 young children and and feel very scared but fortunate that I too found a thickening in my breast and got it checked quickly, with no screening for younger women it's so important to get the message out there to check your breasts!

Hope my outcome is as positive as yours, feel inspired. Thanks xxx

[Claire]

Julie, it is a scary time but keep strong and your 3 young children will get you through it. I am keeping everything crossed that yours to is a positive outcome. xx

[Custom Broncos Jersey]

Thank you so much dear! I’m happy to hear that you’re inspired and on your way- I wish you nothing but the best!!

[What Causes Cancer]

Thank you so much dear! I’m happy to hear that you’re inspired and on your way- I wish you nothing but the best!!

[Surviving Cancer]

Thank you so much dear! I’m happy to hear that you’re inspired and on your way- I wish you nothing but the best!! i enjoy this,

[Cancer Symptoms]

Thank you so much dear! I’m happy to hear that you’re inspired and on your way- I wish you nothing but the best!! i enjoy this,