ONE of the main reasons I wanted to be my own boss was because I knew I wanted to always be around for my children. As the children grew older the time I had available for working became longer. At first my working day fitted around nursery school times and whatever I was fit for once the children were in bed. As they progressed through primary and secondary school my working day increased. A great advantage of being my own boss is being able to have free time in school holidays. Over the years, as my children have become older and more independent, I have been in a position of being able to devote more time to Musical Minis and have allowed the business to grow.
The most problematic part of the exams, for me, is the fact that there are so many parts to each exam and they are over so quickly. I have always made sure I'm available to take and collect the children to and from each exam. This often means I'm stuck around school for an hour or an hour and a half. It's not long enough to go back to work. I know that I have contributed to some of my problems myself. The boys, once they had passed their driving tests, would have happily driven to school for their exams. I wasn't happy with this. I had heard of children having car accidents driving to school as they were stressed and I felt much happier knowing they had arrived safely.
4 years ago the real fun started when I had Matthew doing his A-Levels and Alex doing GCSE's. My life was a constant journey to and from school with one or other of the boys. As a parent it was a really stressful time - encouraging the boys to work, making sure they were at school at the correct time etc. Last year I had the same problem with Alex doing his A -Levels and Emily her GCSE's. Emily works extremely hard so I had to encourage her to stop work, whilst suggesting that Alex starts!
2 years ago it was just Alex doing his AS Levels and I have the same this year with Emily. This year Emily just has 7 exams which seems really easy after the 35 I had to work around last year with her and Alex. Emily still needs reminding that she has worked for too long and needs to move around or stop for lunch etc. So far this year I've been called upon to test her on Cicero and Luther. The testing that really finished me off was Matthews Latin translations - I found the English so boring and he thought it was so wonderful!
Exam time is obviously a period of great stress for the children. Matthew is doing his finals at University in the next few weeks. His phone calls home have become more frequent and as parents we want to be around to talk to him whenever he wants to speak to us. Thankfully we don't have to test him anymore - even with his notes I'm sure I'd be useless.
As a working Mum exam times are a stressful period for me too. I still want to be around for Emily, as I will make sure I am next year for her A Levels. I also have responsibilities to my franchisees and have to make sure I'm available whenever they need me. I have to prioritise - this week there's a EWIF, Encouraging Women Into Franchising, meeting I really wanted to attend. However, Emily has to be in school at 1.30pm that day and I wouldn't be home to take her and to me she has to come first.
Next year, when Emily will be doing her A Levels, it will be my last year of being an exam Mum. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. 6 years ago I had no idea that the exams would have such an affect on my time. I know children are under great pressure from exams but come the end of June I'm sure lots of parents will be very relieved they're over for another year too.
Photo by Flickr Jack Hynes
Just as I was thinking life would get easier once my baby and toddler got a little older...
It looks like this being-a-mum is going to be a life-long job, then? :0)
Posted by: HelenLindop | 06/01/2010 at 03:54 PM
Great post Karen. Just when I think it would get easier....! :-) Lisa
Posted by: Lisa Houghton via British Mummy Bloggers | 06/03/2010 at 12:43 PM
Hi - an interesting read! Keep thinking when my children are both in school things will get easier, freeing up time to spend on my work from home ventures but the more I hear from other people the more I think that extra time will remain an ever elusive ideal just out of my reach! However, it is great, isn't it to be in the situation where you can cut back on working to devote more time to your child's development when they most need it?
Posted by: Julia Odgers via British Mummy Bloggers | 06/03/2010 at 12:44 PM
Thanks Helen, Lisa and Julie for your comments. The expectation is that as your children get older it does get easier being a parent, in reality it doesn't! I think you have to take each stage as it happens at the time and deal with all the challenges on route.
Posted by: Karen | 06/03/2010 at 12:46 PM