Ever changing family dynamics

MY family life seems to constantly be changing. As soon as I've got used to one situation it's time for a change. There's lots of research on the empty nest syndrome but I seem to be in a juggling eggs syndrome - the nest is either full, partly full or empty. This could calmly sort itself out or it has the potential for the eggs to smash or even the nest to come crashing down!

Having 3 children the house has always been full with them and their friends. When one child was away on a school trip or holiday the house did seem quieter but there were still 2 at home. I know friends with 2 children find it very strange when one is away but I think for me still having 2 at home was always noisy enough.

Just over 2 years ago, Matthew my eldest went to University. At first it was really strange but slowly the 4 remaining family members all got used to the situation. University holidays are really long and as soon as we had adapted the holidays started and our family dynamics changed back to before he went. At the end of September, Alex, my middle child, went off to University. Those of you who have read my blog previously will know that Alex found this separation particularly difficult, which obviously put extra pressure on us. Our life at home needed adjusting again now there were only 3 of us.

At first the house seemed really quiet and quite strange. Emily, my youngest, was the only child left at home, although she misses her brothers she does love being an only child. She loves having Rob and my full attention but best of all she loves having complete control over the television. I got used to the peace, no rows, much less washing (certainly no muddy football kits), much less mess, less shopping and having to put the dishwasher on much less. Suddenly the great advantages of 2 boys at University were apparent.

Last week the boys both came home for the holidays. Our home life is chaotic again! Although it's lovely to have them home the family dynamics have changed once more. There is mess everywhere which I find puts a strain on family peace. The poor washing machine is on constantly - I can't believe they decided to bring so many dirty clothes home. I've refused to do their washing alone and encouraging them to help has also led to a little conflict. The boys are constantly squabbling over who has the car when, who plays playstation when and who watches what on television. Emily can't watch what she wants to or have unshared time with Rob and I. I seem to constantly be shopping, loading and emptying the dishwasher and keeping the peace between 3 children. Running a business as well as looking after a family means I have to be organised. My family is turning my life upside down - for example, tonight I have no idea (nor do they) if either boy is in for supper.

I was dreading the day when all 3 children would leave Rob and I alone. I wondered how we would cope just the 2 of us in a quiet empty house - now the prospect seems quite heart warming. How lovely to go to bed at night and not leave noise downstairs. To get up in the morning and not get aggravated by children in bed until lunchtime. I've got used to my quiet tidy house - roll on mid January when term starts again - and at least I'll have a few more years of Emily at home.

Photo by Flickr Supermayd