WITH a degree in psychology, focusing on children and as a former play specialist at Great Ormond Street Hospital, I have a wealth of experience in advising parents on helping their children learn through having fun.
My psychology background has given me an insight into the cognitive development of children which means I have been trained in recognising how a child reacts to and interacts with the world around it.
It's an area I've always wanted to explore and encourage in children.
I wanted to help each child attending Musical Minis achieve its full potential. Musical Minis is a structured programme encouraging cognitive, physical and emotional development through the use of music, instruments and stories.
Now, how can I help you?
Please get in touch with any dilemmas you feel I may be able to help with.
Here's a recent question posed:
Suzi wrote:
My daughter is 16 months old. She seems to be into everything!
This really isn't an issue when we are at home as I have taken steps to make sure she is safe.
But when we go out, she is always grabbing hold of things. It causes problems at mother and toddler groups where she just wants to do her own thing.
She doesn't want to join in and it gets a bit embarrassing. Last week, while a group session was in, she ran off, took some tissues out of a coat pocket and threw them everywhere.
Of course I am asking her to stop, but she has a tantrum. It's wearing me out.
I give her lots of praise too when she doesn't run amok. I worry about her and how different she seems from other children and I see the way other parents look at me and her when she is off exploring anything.
I don't know what to do.
HI Suzi
I advise our franchisees up and down the country on how to make sure active inquisitive children, like your daughter, benefit from our classes.
Please be assured your daughter is just a normal toddler - that's what toddlers do. Why when she has just learnt to walk would she want to sit still? Intelligent children are often into everything, that's how they learn. Possibly, she has become too used to the groups you attend and they don't challenge her anymore, often school children muck around at school because they are bored.
I suggest to my franchisees that they 'ignore' a child not in the circle but make sure whatever is happening in the circle is just too exciting to miss. If your daughter thought she was missing out she may want to return to see what's going on. In my experience when the leader draws attention to the child not in the circle this causes the parent to feel more stressed and under pressure, as they feel they should be controlling their child. The leader should be aware of the child and once drawn back into the circle she should praise and encourage the child. Positive reinforcement is much more productive than negative enforcement.
You could ask the staff if she could be involved as a 'helper.' If your daughter is encouraged to assist in the session she may love the responsibility. I'm not sure how the groups you attend operate but at Musical Minis I would suggest she was involved in collecting and handing out instruments, scarves etc.
I do fully understand that it makes you feel awful when other Mums look at you and your daughter. You must be so anxious at these groups that your daughter will do something that I'm sure you don't enjoy attending. Perhaps you could have a word with the group leaders and ask them to say 'no' to your daughter and then to distract her with something - often children respond better to someone other than their parents. If you have asked the staff to intervene you are still in control, so its different to when other parents step in.
I hope this has been some help to you. Good Luck
* If you have a query or dilemma you hope I could help with, then please get in touch by email: [email protected] with Ask Karen in the subject line or leave a comment here.
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