My boys are 23 and 21 and Rob and I like to think that we have a good relationship with them. Matthew, our eldest, has now finished University and is back living at home. Alex is going into his 3rd year at University but has until now, more often than not, come home at weekends. At the moment I do think the boys are close to us and hope this remains. They have had various girlfriends, some of whom we like some whilst others we don’t, but still family has been important to them.
Emily, my 18 year old daughter, is more helpful than the boys both at home and supporting me with admin work at Musical Minis. If I ask the boys often enough they do help too though!
Whilst all my 3 refuse to let me be their friend on Facebook we do have an honest and open family life. They know that we would rather be told the truth even if we don’t approve, than be kept in the dark or lied to. I’m hoping that shared values and beliefs will always keep my 3 close to us and they won’t distance from us when or if they marry.
"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." Genesis 2:24. This seems to imply the same as the Irish proverb.
I know as a family we are much closer to my family than to Robs. I think I’m closer to my parents than my 2 brothers are. I realise ‘closeness’ is hard to judge – I think it has to mean more than just speaking to and caring for. When I think about my friends families most of them seem closer to the girl’s family, although a few seem quite close to both families.
I’m hoping that the way we have raised the children and the culture they have grown up in, within a close knit family, will ensure my boys always remain involved with Rob and I. I would hate not to be a part of, or involved in, their lives when they marry.
Looking around there are so many parents with only boys. What do you think about the proverb? Are we all doomed to lose our boys to the families of girls?